Dear 15-year-old Brandi,
You don’t know this, but you are graduating college and turning 22 in just a few days when you’re writing this (when I’m writing this?) to yourself. You won’t be graduating as an athletic trainer, and you won’t be going on to get your doctorate to be a physical therapist (ESPN isn’t totally out the window, but girl, you’d be shocked by the jobs you’re looking at and working right now). Before sophomore year of college, I would’ve never believed that if you told me, so I can imagine how shocking it must be to hear as a high school junior who has been dedicated to science since 7th grade, taking as many AP and dual-credit college courses as you possibly can. But trust me, it’s for the best! And deep down, I know you’re probably relieved, even just a little bit.
That video effects class you took because you wanted to hangout with your (now ex- for many good reasons) boyfriend during school hours? Take in Every. Single. Moment. That class spoke to you, and you know it. Why did we ignore it?! Get over what your family wants, get over what that boy wants. It won’t make you happy. Do what makes you happy for once. Everything before college doesn’t even matter anymore. Half of the first few years of college don’t even matter anymore! Do things for you!
You will change so much from who you are right now. I will probably change from who I am while writing this. 7 years is a long time. The life you had planned for yourself? Scrap it. Stop living for other people. One thing I’ve learned is to take it a day at a time. Your therapist will tell you that every session- you’ll meet her in about a year, so expect that. She’s pretty cool, honestly.
Life is dynamic and you are meant to be happy. You lived unhappy for a long time, and will unfortunately continue to do so for some time. It’s all experiences, it happened, and nothing I could tell you would make it change. You wouldn’t listen, but that’s also just how life goes. It’s cliche, but good things come out of the bad things, and that’s what makes it worth it, no matter how devastating the bad things seem right now. Whatever you do, don’t stop standing up for yourself and being the stubborn woman you are. I can’t say there were many times we didn’t, but just a reminder. Not everyone will love you, but not everyone needs to love you. The right people will and do.
You’re also surrounded by some of the worst people we’ve met even to this day, so take their words with a grain of salt. They don’t matter anyway. Your friends will almost all come and go. You haven’t even met your soulmate or best friends yet. Hell, I’m still meeting them now. It’ll suck when you lose people you love, but everything does happen for a reason, and you’ll never truly be alone. Love yourself above all else. And your dog. Give him hugs and kisses every day. Please.
You’ll travel to France again, and you’ll go to Costa Rica and Montréal and have the best time ever. We don’t travel too much now- you’ll see why in 2020. Just… wash your hands more and stop sharing your water bottle now while you’re ahead. Take in these experiences, take all the pictures you can. Spend the money on the souvenirs and excursions. You are young, you will make the money back, but you can never get time back. Do the things!
Speaking of money, you need to figure out stocks. I still don’t get it, but one of your good friends is very good at day trading and you should listen to him when he starts blabbering about it. Also, try to get your mother off Facebook. You think it’s funny seeing her learn technology now, but she really turns into a boomer after a while. You should also just delete your accounts, but let me not be a hypocrite in my own letter to myself. Social media is just toxic and not worth it. You know that already, but it’s hard to quit, I know. Maybe in another universe?
Most importantly, stay strong. You have no idea what’s coming. Take it a day at a time, have fun, be yourself. This life is absolutely wild. You’re gonna be fine, kid.
With love,
21-year-old Brandi
brandi pinette 